Guide
Home Alone: when is your child ready – and what if you don’t have a landline?
by Katja Fischer
What’s the right age to get your kid a phone?
28/3/2024
Translation: Jessica Johnson-Ferguson
Smartphones have become part of life – including our children’s. But when are our little ones ready for their first mobile? I spoke to a media expert to find out.
I’m well aware that my children are growing up in a highly digitised world. I’ve also noticed how they’re often better at using my phone than I am. And yet, I don’t like the idea of them having their own device at some stage. Whenever I see older kids on their phones, it makes me feel uneasy. At the same time, I know there’s no way around it.
Until now, I’d sworn neither of them would be getting a phone until they were 14. But after talking to media expert Iren Schulz, I know there’s no need to be quite so strict about it.
Iren Schulz, is there a universal answer to the question: when should I allow my child to have a mobile phone?
Unfortunately not. There’s a great deal of uncertainty and many parents want answers. But for many reasons, things aren’t that straightforward.
On the one hand, children develop very differently. That’s why they have a different take on digital media and the functions and purpose of a smartphone. From an educational point of view, the general rule is that children under the age of eleven are unable to assess, understand and use a fully equipped smartphone in a proper and safe way.
On the other hand, reality paints a completely different picture. Smartphones become a hot topic as soon as kids start school. A good compromise can be to give your child a phone, but to heavily limit its functions. That means no internet flat rate, no way of making any purchases and no registration on social media. You could start with text messages and calls only, for example. New functions can then be added step by step together with the parents.
Some parents are totally against their child having a phone before a certain age. At the same time, they’re worried their child will lose touch with friends.
You don’t learn how to deal with things by forbidding them, but by dealing with them.
Then there are parents who rigorously monitor their children and their smartphone usage. This strategy’s probably not a great idea. After all, you don’t learn how to deal with things by forbidding them, but by dealing with them. In today’s society, there’s no getting round smartphones and digital media. I believe a gradual introduction’s better than a strict smartphone ban until the age of 14, let’s say.
When it comes to media, parents are often insecure and try to pass on the responsibility. At the same time, it’s the parents who know where their child stands in terms of development and what’s best for them. As a media coach, I try to encourage the parents to become aware of this. The aim is to help families find the best way for them.
Where does this insecurity come from? Is it because today’s mums and dads didn’t grow up with mobile phones?
That’s part of it. But many parents are also unfamiliar with certain apps and this unsettles them. However, there’s no need to sign up for every new tool to know what it’s about. Adults are far better at keeping a healthy distance and a more critical view on digital media than children. Regardless of whether they’re familiar with an app.
I sometimes see children, maybe nine or ten years old, staring at their smartphones, even when they’re walking. As a mother, I’m worried my sons will behave the same way at some stage. What can I do about it?
As parents and caregivers, we have a very important role to play here. By the time children reach nursery age at the latest, they want to own a device. In first or second grade, many children already have one. And that’s why I believe it’s so important to find an educationally reasonable compromise. These devices are part of family life and everyday reality, after all. Just make sure usage is safe, supervised and limited.
What do you recommend instead?
Time spent together, such as meals or family activities, should be declared media-free time. This means mobile phones are put away or at least put into flight mode. It’s good for everyone, including the adults. You’ll often see how annoyed children get about taking photos on family outings. This raises the question if you really need to take several pictures of every excursion?
As I said before, you don’t learn to deal with stuff by forbidding it. What’s more, a ban just wouldn’t work in practice. There would always be parents who give their children a phone anyway. With this in mind, it’s always best to talk to everyone involved and come up with solutions that work in everyday life. This approach is in the children’s best interest and the only way to prepare them for the future of media.
Thank you very much for your time.
What’s your take on children using mobile phones? Let me know in the comments!
Header image: BearFotos/Shutterstock
A true local journalist with a secret soft spot for German pop music. Mum of two boys, a dog and about 400 toy cars in all shapes and colours. I always enjoy travelling, reading and go to concerts, too.
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