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Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way

26/1/2024

Translation: Megan Cornish

What you can do with the word «because», how you can influence someone with the right questions and how you can get your child to tidy up – best-selling author Jonah Berger explains this and more in his book Magic Words.

Over ten years of research on the effect of words is condensed into almost 220 pages,
where New York Times best-selling author and marketing professor Jonah Berger shares the most important findings from his studies in his book Magic Words. The exciting news is that sometimes just swapping a single word is enough to get what you want.

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Magic Words

English, 2023

From persuading others and building stronger relationships to boosting creativity and motivating teams, Berger’s findings provide insight into how targeted words can hold the key to greater success in various areas of life.

The right choice of words has an immense influence on the result

On average, each of us uses 16,000 words per day. But while we spend a lot of time thinking about the ideas we want to convey, we don’t give much thought to the actual words we use to communicate those ideas. A big mistake, says Berger, because tiny changes in the words we choose can have an immense impact on the outcome of our communication.

You can have the author personally explain the key messages of his book to you in his Google talk:

There are six chapters in the book that are dedicated to certain words or groups of words that can influence not only your thoughts and actions, but also those of people around you. The conclusion of each chapter is a section entitled Making Magic, where Berger summarises the most important information. I’ll introduce you to some of it here.

Transform actions into identities

The first chapter is about activating identity and agency. What does that mean? When you frame an action as an opportunity to affirm a desired identity, you’re more likely to get the other person to do something specific.

For example, this was shown in an experiment looking at how preschool children can be encouraged to clean up. Some of the children were simply asked whether they could help clean up. Although the question the other children were asked was only slightly changed to «Can you be a helper?», they were a third more willing to help with the clean-up. A desirable identity was brought to the forefront for the second group.

Studies on voting show the same effect. If someone is asked whether they’re a «voter» instead of asking whether they’re «going to vote», voter turnout increases by 15 per cent.

The power of thoughts

Two other small linguistic changes can help you achieve your goals:

*Swap «I can’t» for «I won’t.» If you say to yourself: «I won’t eat sweets» instead of «I can’t eat sweets», for example, you’re already encouraging yourself and are more likely to achieve your goal, says Berger.
*Swap «should» for «could». When you need to solve a problem, you’ll think more creatively and openly if you ask yourself «What could I do?» instead of «What should I do?» Because the latter implies that there’s a single correct solution that you have to come up with. The first question leads to freer thinking and helps you get out of a mental block.

What a single word can do

Berger describes the word «because» as an impressive example of how a single word can change people’s decisions. He cites an experiment from the 1970s at Harvard University where the researchers wanted to find out what influences belief.

To do this, they waited at a photocopier in the library for random test subjects. If someone wanted to copy something, a member of the research team would approach that person and ask to use it first. They asked the simple question: «Excuse me, I have five pages. Could I use the printer?» and compared the reactions to the same question including an explanation «because I’m in a hurry.» With an explanation, 50 per cent more of those surveyed were willing to let the other person go first.

The decisive factor is the word «because»

So far, so unsurprising. But then the researchers tried a third variant. They chose another question using «because,» but didn’t provide a meaningful reason: «Sorry, I have five pages. Can I use the printer because I need to make copies?» Nevertheless, this question resulted in just as much willingness to let the person asking the question go first as with an actually comprehensible explanation. The word «because» made the crucial difference, without any meaningful reason having to follow.

Ask the right questions

In the third chapter, Berger clears up the frequently used sentence «there are no stupid questions». Because, to his knowledge, there are definitely better and worse questions. He provides a guide to asking the best questions at the most appropriate time:

Ask for advice. This will give you better insight into a topic and make you appear smart.
Ask questions that show you’re interested and that you care enough to find out more.
Distract from difficulties by asking counter-questions. This way you can control the conversation and show interest without revealing too much private information.
Avoid insinuations when trying to get someone to talk about something negative.
Start cautiously, then build from there.

Do you want to know more? Listen to Jonah Berger’s talk, where he explains some of these things in detail. And you can read even more information, exciting study findings and linguistic tricks in the book itself.

Header image: Anna Sandner

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Anna Sandner

Senior Editor

Anna.Sandner@galaxus.de

Science editor and biologist. I love animals and am fascinated by plants, their abilities and everything you can do with them. That's why my favourite place is always outside - somewhere in nature, preferably in my wild garden.

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