Opinion
These cuddly toys caused childhood PTSD
by Claudio Candinas
I say no thanks to Black Friday Giganotosaurus
23/11/2023
Translation: machine translated
For Black Friday, action figure manufacturer Schleich is offering a special copy of the Giganotosaurus. And it's completely useless. I hope this collection series disappears like meteorites.
Schleich has a good reputation: its animals are developed in collaboration with biologists and animal experts, so that they are as close as possible to the original. But what bugged the product design team for this one?
Of course, the giganotosaurus did exist. Its bones have been found and the carnivore roamed around 100 million years ago, where Argentina is today. But I know one thing: this dinosaur wasn't black, and it certainly didn't go to the tattooist to get that red design tattooed on its back.
The product clearly doesn't follow the Schleich "product DNA":
Our figurines come in infinite shapes, sizes and colours. Whether they have two or four legs, or no legs at all, they have one thing in common: every toy in our collection is authentic, carefully crafted and of the highest quality.
To boost sales, the giganotosaurus has also been declared a "collectible figurine" and is, of course, only available in limited editions. Psst, no one can know that the number of pieces is so great that there will be enough copies anyway.
Harsh marketing copy should do the trick. There you go!
Beware! You quickly realise that the enormous Giganotosaurus is not here for a joke. His big head gives the impression of having nothing but teeth. And it doesn't hesitate to show off its dangerous sharp fangs. When he opens his powerful jaws and roars, you can hear him from a distance. He's certainly looking for prey to terrify.
This is clearly a missed opportunity. If this thing has "Black Friday" in its name, why isn't this monstrosity hunting bargains? Why doesn't it use its speed as a weapon to take advantage of the big discounts before all the other prehistoric lizards? (Dear Schleich company, if you're interested in such formulations, contact me; my copywriting skills are for sale.)
I was only able to save one Black Friday dinosaur for this article: the specimen you see here in the photos. But I don't want to keep it. That's why it could soon be yours: tell me in the comments why you absolutely need the giganotosaurus. I'll choose the best answer. Then I'll wrap him up in a cardboard box, put him in the post and say "forever!"
Header photo: Martin Jungfer
Martin Jungfer
Head of Content
Martin.Jungfer@digitecgalaxus.chJournalist since 1997. Stopovers in Franconia (or the Franken region), Lake Constance, Obwalden, Nidwalden and Zurich. Father since 2014. Expert in editorial organisation and motivation. Focus on sustainability, home office tools, beautiful things for the home, creative toys and sports equipment.
